Season 06 Episode 42

When Goal Setting and Productivity Becomes Self-Worth with Rhianna Wienss & Erin Monfre — LISTEN NOW

January has a way of sneaking up on us with a clipboard.

New year. New goals. New version of you.

And somehow—before we’ve even caught our breath—we’re already behind.

Welcome back to Dirty Laundry with Ollie, and HAPPY NEW YEAR. This episode marks one full year of Dirty Laundry, and I am incredibly grateful to be here. Whether you’ve been listening since the beginning or this is your very first episode, thank you for being here.

Today’s episode is extra special because I’m joined by my friends Erin Monfre and Rhianna Wienss. Together, we’re unpacking something that sounds simple, but feels complicated for so many of us: goals and New Year’s resolutions.

When Goals Aren’t Actually Ours

What if the goals we’re setting aren’t actually ours at all? What if they’re born out of pressure… comparison… or the quiet belief that rest has to be earned?

So many goals look good publicly, but quietly drain us privately. They’re celebrated on social media, praised in conversation, and yet behind the scenes they leave us exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning why we can’t seem to keep up.

In this conversation with Erin and Rhianna, we intentionally slow the whole thing down. We talk about the goals we set because we think we’re supposed to. The ones shaped by expectations placed on women, parents, professionals, and caregivers to optimize every part of their lives—often at the expense of their well-being.

The Pressure to Optimize Everything

Somewhere along the way, “setting goals” turned into “fix everything at once.”

Optimize your body.

Your marriage.

Your finances.

Your productivity.

Your healing.

Your motherhood.

Your mindset.

We dig into where this pressure actually comes from and why it feels so heavy. We talk honestly about comparison, hustle culture, and how productivity has become tangled up with our sense of worth.

Aligned Goals vs. Noise

One of the most powerful questions we ask in this episode is: How do you know when a goal is aligned versus when it’s just noise?

Erin, Rhianna, and I reflect on goals we’ve let go of—and how releasing them actually created more peace, clarity, and space.

We talk about small goals that quietly change everything. About progress that feels painfully slow. About adjusting goals instead of abandoning them—and how to release the guilt when we fall off track.

We also name the quiet habits that sustain growth, the role community plays in reaching goals, and the ones we’re setting that will never be posted on Instagram.

Maybe the Problem Isn’t You

Maybe the problem isn’t that we’re failing at goals.

Maybe the problem is how we’ve been taught to measure success.

This episode isn’t about quitting goals. It’s about setting goals that honor your capacity, your season, your energy, and your humanity.

Listen to the full episode of Dirty Laundry with Ollie.